Merry Christmas!!!

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Our life together...

Since we picked up Mei-Li, life has been a hurricane. After visiting family and coming through Mei-Li's first scary illness, we are trying to establish some normalcy. I will update the blog as soon as I get the chance. Until then, stay up to date by viewing my facebook profile at: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=502662831

Leavin' on a Jet-plane...

We got our tickets in the mail. We are finishing up Mei-Li's room and packing! We leave on Tuesday morning!

Here's a tour of her bedroom!

Mei-Li, Here we come!

Hello friends and family!

This is it, the post you've all (and we have) been waiting for...

We got a call late tonight that a day opened up at AIT. We NOW have our interview on August 31(as opposed to September 7th)!!! We will leave either the 24th or the 26th. That's NEXT WEEK, folks! We are so excited...so blessed!

Thank you for all your prayers!

Mei-Li, here we come!

Joyfully expectant,
Mei-Li's Parents
PS--Right before we got the call, God showed me this:

"You're Not in the Driver's Seat
21-22Then Jesus made it clear to his disciples that it was now necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, submit to an ordeal of suffering at the hands of the religious leaders, be killed, and then on the third day be raised up alive. Peter took him in hand, protesting, "Impossible, Master! That can never be!"
23But Jesus didn't swerve. "Peter, get out of my way. Satan, get lost. You have no idea how God works."
24-26Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?
27-28"Don't be in such a hurry to go into business for yourself. Before you know it the Son of Man will arrive with all the splendor of his Father, accompanied by an army of angels. You'll get everything you have coming to you, a personal gift. This isn't pie in the sky by and by. Some of you standing here are going to see it take place, see the Son of Man in kingdom glory." Matthew 16:21-28(The Message)

Mei-Li, AIT Date

Hello everyone,

I got an email this morning (around 5AM) stating that we can have our AIT(American Instittute of Taiwan) interview scheduled on September 7th. That means we would be in Taiwan a few(like 3) days before and a few days after. The director is trying to get us an earlier date (the end of August). We really hope that we can go see our princess before then. I know God has His reasons for everything, so if we can only get September 7th, I will accept it. However, I am still praying that if possible, we could go earlier. It sounds ungrateful, I know, but Mei-Li will be 6 months old on September 13th. Please join me in praying about this.

Also, Chris and Amy(fellow adoptive parents) need your prayers. Their baby, Lillian (at the same orphanage as Mei-Li) will be in court Wed August 18 at 10 p.m. Central standard time. Recently, we heard that the biological grandmother was pressuring the birth mother to take her(Lillian) back after leaving her at the orphanage for 4 months. Chris and Amy are crushed and hoping for the opportunity to raise this baby girl whom they have named, and created a space for--in their hearts she is their daughter. We know that only God knows what is best for Lillian. I am asking you to pray for this situation.

Thank you all so much. We'll keep you posted.

Mei-Li's Mommy,
Lindsey

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 (The Message)

Court papers are in!

We just heard today that Mei-Li's final court papers have arrived at the orphanage! We don't know when we will travel for sure, but it will be within the next 3 weeks, most likely! I've started the packing list and I am trying desperately not to freak out. There is so much left to do! Brandon found out today that he should be able to go to Taiwan without using his personal leave which is good news. That means that he can take some time off (a week or so) to be with Mei-Li when we get home. God is sooo good! Below is our August picture of Mei-Li!

COURT

Hallelujah, what a Savior, I owe everything to Him!

At 4:24AM, after a looong night, we got word that everything went "very well" at Mei-Li's court date and the birth parents even gave up their right to contest--they waived the waiting period! We are told that the papers should arrive (at the orphanage) in 2-3 weeks and we can begin travel plans in about a month. We are praying for SOONER than that!

Thank you for your prayers! We are exhausted and overjoyed!

15-17This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!-Romans 8:15-17 (MSG)

Mei-Li's Court Date-TONIGHT

Tonight at 2:25AM(technically Wednesday) Mei-Li will be at court with Ted (the director of the orphanage and our attorney) along with her birth parents. Her birth parents took her to the orphanage after she was born because they felt (for reasons we will never understand) that they could not keep her and give her the life they wanted for her. This, contrary to how it sounds, was actually a very unselfish, humble and loving decision. On July 28th at approximately 2:25PM in Taipei, Taiwan, they will make their decision again, in front of a judge and sign a contract. They have the option not to sign, but to take her home with them. While this is not likely, it IS possible. This contract, if signed, will officially make this lovely 4-month-old an orphan. This is also what will free her to be taken into our arms as our daughter.

As I explain this, I can't help but think of how God must feel as he watches everything we knew, everything we found comfort in, our whole world die. It is only after these things are given up--completely surrendered by us that we can be welcomed into His loving arms. This death is our salvation.

From a technical standpoint, after the contract is signed, the birth parents have 10 days to change their minds. In the past, the judge asked the BP(birth parents) if they wish to waive the 10 day waiting period. Many did. Recently, however, one BP came back during the waiting period and took her baby back. It is understandable that in light of her change-of-heart, the judges are hesitant to bring up the waiver option. Unfortunately, the waiver adds time to the wait to unite orphaned babies with their forever families.

God knows the desire of our hearts(Brandon and mine)--in our minds, Mei-Li is already our daughter and we want to bring her home YESTERDAY! However, as I ask God to fulfill this desire, I express the deeper , more difficult truth. I know God's plan for this child and for us is better than mine--arranged from a perspective much larger than the speck of my world that I can see. So I ask you Lord, to comfort the birth parents, guide the judge and Ted; and give us the strength to wait and believe in your unchanging love for all the parties involved.

Court will commence at 2:25 AM TONIGHT Eastern time. She's all yours, God.

July Pics!

So not only did we get a court date yesterday, but we received an email with our July Picture! It looks as though she was squirming and messed up her hair bow. :) She's surrounded by goodies Mommy and Daddy sent. Her bear has Mommy and Daddy's voice recorded on it. The outfit she's sporting in one I (Mommy) picked out for her. It's 0-3 months, so hopefully she's not too big yet. She looks like a fun little trip! We hope to bring her home in late August(or sooner, God?).

Court Date!

I just got an email this morning from Mei-Li's orphanage/our attorney that her court date is set for JULY 28TH!!! Her birth parents will attend this court session, and have the option of either signing away their rights as parents or taking her back. If they sign their rights away, there will be a 10 day waiting period during which they can change their minds. They have the option of signing this away as well in order to free her for adoption sooner. If all goes well, we could bring her home late August or early September. Brandon is locked into a Court Marshall Board for the last week of August, so pray there is no conflict! Hold on, Baby Girl, Mommy and Daddy will be there soon!

Our June Picture

We received this picture on June 1st of Mei-Li. I think she is about 2.5 months old or 10 weeks. :)

The Journey to Taiwan Continues...

[[If this is your first time reading my blog, don't spoil it for yourself. Go to the end of this page, click on "older posts" and read our story from the beginning!:)]]

For the next four days our team was blessed to engage in several different ministries and outreaches. We fellowshipped with house churches in the area, played with darling children, and tried our best to spread God's love around to everyone we encountered. Our time drew to an end and in what seemed an instant, it was the fourth day. The next day would be the finale of our time in Banciao and we all planned to go sightseeing with our new friends we had met. It was getting late in the evening as my heart pounded heavily in my chest with a burning compulsion-- "Ask about the orphanage. ASK!"

Finally, I awkwardly asked Linda if I could speak to someone at the orphanage on the phone just to get more information. I hated to change the subject, I told her, but I didn't want to miss a divine appointment God may have for me. She smiled her lovely, warm smile, and picked up the phone. She gently warned me that the orphanage was a trip of about 4 or 5 hours North--one I could not go alone. However, the college students all wanted to see the city. I reassured her that I had to at least speak to someone on the phone about it, but I did not necessarily intend to travel there. She called the orphanage and spoke in Chinese for what seemed like an eternity. Then, to my disappointment, she hung up! I was completely confused as I waited, holding my breath.
"Well," she slowly began,"like I said before, I don't know that I believe in dreams, but God is up to something because He just worked a miracle for you, young lady!"
"W-What is it?"
"For ten years I have tried to get a hold of those people--they are wonderful people of God--but with all those children they are always SO busy. I have not been able to get any of their time. Yet you are here for ONE more day and God has arranged for you to meet them!"

I almost lost my composure, but maintained it long enough to hang onto every word that followed. She told me that the people who ran the home would be in our local area TOMORROW. They would have two American couples with them along with their adoptive babies in order to take them all shopping and sight-seeing before they returned to the US. They had offered to meet me at the shopping center and let me ride in the van with them to the orphanage. I would need to find my own transportation back. Ted(the director of the orphanage) could take me to a bus stop on scooter. I would need to ride the bus to the subway station and take the train to Banciao, then walk or take a taxi to the apartment.

The leader of our team, Andy raised an eyebrow. "You want her to travel across Taiwan by herself?" Linda reassured him that I would be safe as Taiwanese are more than accommodating to Americans. I told her I needed to speak with Andy and I would also need to call my husband. I told Andy about the dream. He assured me that he trusted me and agreed to let me go.

Around 8:00PM Taiwan time, on a skype phone, I called Brandon, praying I could reach him despite the 12 hour time difference. He answered. I told him through excited tears all that had transpired. Then I told him I would not go unless he was okay with it. He expressed concern for my traveling alone, but said he felt it was God-ordained. He didn't want me to wonder what may have happened had I taken the chance. Then I told him my next concern. "I don't know what I may find there. I don't know if they have babies or if I can start the process, but I can't get the dream out of my head. If I see a baby there, I might want to bring him or her home. That's probably not possible right away, but I don't know what to expect. I know we discussed maybe adopting someday after having a child naturally. I won't go unless you are 110% on board with the idea. I will only gone if you feel you could be ready to adopt a baby." I paused.

"Baby," he said(I will never forget it), "Go get our baby." More tears--inexpressible joy and peace surrounded me. The feeling was similar to when I had the dream, when I read the email from Linda prior to going, and when she and I first spoke of the orphanage. God was present.

The next day I met Ted, Janie and Matt with their sixth-month old son, and Kayte and Darren with their four-month old son. I told them about the dream, the invitation to Taiwan, and Linda. On the three hour trip I asked lots of questions. I was again floored when I asked where they were all from because Janie answered that they lived in Miami, Florida. Of all the 50 states they could have been from, they were from mine! I inquired about what I should do next when I returned home. Kayte told me I needed to get a home study completed. Janie chimed in, "I can give you our social worker's contact who did ours. She was wonderful, she loves God, and her agency is already familiar with this orphanage." Kayte informed me that the home study cost them around $1500. Janie added that their's was closer to $1400, then additional for the social worker's travel expenses. "Where is your social worker located?" I asked. (I had not shared where in Florida I lived except that it wasn't far from Disney.) "She lives in a city called...uhhh, what was it, Honey? Oh yeah--Tampa." I laughed and explained that I lived 30-40 minutes south of Tampa. God works out every detail.

In what seemed like a short time, we arrived at the orphanage. It was a large house tucked away in the mountains with trees as far as I could see behind it. The scenery was breath-taking. We walked into the house and my heart dropped to the floor. There before me with 3 ladies laughing and talking--each holding a baby or two were eight babies in carseats--some slept while others cried with wet diapers. I wasn't there for 60 seconds before I had a baby in my arms. Ted introduced me to his wife Bev who nodded as she fed a baby a bottle in one arm and burped another lying on her lap.

I introduced myself and (between feeding babies and changing diapers)told the story of how God brought me to the orphanage. "Well," Bev responded, "I don't know much about dreams, (I smiled) but you had better write it all down." She proceeded to ask me about mine and Brandon's faith. "That," she explained,"is the first requirement for prospective parents." I asked about the process and she told me I would need to fill out an application and email it after I returned home. "Then you will go on a waiting list." "How long is it?" I asked, concerned I had misread God's plan. "Well, that depends...on two things," she started. "First, do you have any other children?" I shook my head. "Okay, do you have any fertility problems--that keep you from being able to get pregnant?" "Yes," I continued, "I have been under the care of an endocrinologist for 3 years for fertility treatment. It is not impossible for me to get pregnant, as far as I know--just very very difficult." "That's good enough for us," Bev smiled."If you meet those two requirements, you move to the top of the list." Next I asked about the cost. When Brandon and I had previously checked into China adoptions out of curiosity we learned it costs around $27,000. I braced myself to believe in faith that God would provide. "We don't charge." She said simply. "What do you mean? You don't charge?" I asked, confused. "God has always provided for all our needs through donations. We don't think families should have to pay to give our children loving homes." I was dumbstruck once again. She reminded me that there are fees in the states that we will have to pay for a home study, immigration papers, and for plane tickets to go bring our baby home.

You see, when you want something very badly and you ask God for it believing He wants you to have it, but then do not receive it(at least not in the timing or in the way you think you should) you sometimes start to doubt that He's listening; or that He cares. He did not "make" my womb barren to punish me or teach me a lesson. He knew a long time ago that in order for me to navigate the path to the child He had for us, He needed to line up the specific details. He did and He is--in every area of our lives when we choose to walk into what He has for us. Now back to the story...

I spent 3 hours with Bev and the babies that day, then enjoyed a lovely dinner with about 30 or 40 other children ages 5-18. Every baby was spoken for--had a home their were waiting to go to. The orphanage chooses not to adopt out older children to American families anymore because they have witnessed, over many years, that they fair better in the setting of the orphanage. They are like one big family and have several loving people there, in their own country and culture to nurture them. Believe me, I wanted to take them home with me as well.

Late that night, Ted took me to the station on scooter to catch a bus to the city. Even in these fine details, God provided. I made it to the subway station and took it to Banciao. I used a business card Linda had given me and hand motions to explain to a taxi-driver where I needed to go. He dropped me off in the wrong place, but several young people who spoke very little to no English literally pointed me in the direction of the apartment. Around 11:30PM or midnight, I made it back to a somewhat worried Linda and told her of my adventure.
The next day my team and I flew to Kinmen, and island that lays a mile from China's shoreline. Over the next 2-3 weeks I met some amazing young people--students at the university there. Along with them, I helped teach at an English camp. God stretched my faith and encouraged my heart as my joy bubbled over. I still did not know for sure all that God had in store. To be honest, I still did not know if God had a baby for me in Taiwan, but I knew He was working--and that was enough.
Precious Friends

Journey to the other side of the world...

If you are following my blog, you have realized by now, that I did not write the whole story leading up to the present. The post before this one shares the VERY IMPORTANT news we received on May 4, 2010. Now back to my story...

Just days before the departure date of the trip, I raised enough money to buy my plane ticket. I had to fly alone since I got my ticket so late, but I would meet the rest of the team in Taiwan. After two days of flying (to S. Korea, and then on to Taiwan) I arrived a few hours before my team. When they arrived, Linda came to pick us all up. I got to ride in Linda's car with her along with one other teammate because there wasn't enough room in the taxi. Even this was ordained.

I asked Linda how she came to Taiwan--how she came to be a missionary in this country. As I remember it, she explained that she had come to Taiwan with a heart for children and came to work in an orphanage. My heart leapt. "An orphanage!" I exclaimed. Then, realizing I had rudely interrupted her, I refrained and listened to the rest of her story. When she finished, I asked if the orphanage still existed. She informed me that it did, indeed, but was run by someone else now, a missionary couple named the Skiles. Disoriented from having been awake for over 24 hours, I began, "You might think I'm crazy, but I had a dream..." I explained the dream in detail. When I finished she responded with something like, "I don't know that I believe in dreams--who am I to say God can't speak through them. However, you are on a bridge right now!" Dumbfounded, I asked, "What do you mean?" "Well," she continued,"first of all, we are driving on a bridge, but, the county I live in, where you will be staying is 'Banciao.' 'Banciao' is 'The City of Bridges.' You can't go anywhere without crossing a bridge here." The cold chills came again, as did the tears. I knew God had something planned, but I did not want to jump ahead and try to figure it out. So I waited.

This just in…
Today, while I was at work, I got a phone call from a number I didn’t recognize. I silenced it, then realized, it might be Taiwan. I called back and ran into the teacher’s office. Ted Skiles answered saying it was time to discuss a baby. He wanted to know if it was a good time of if he should call back. I told him it was fine. We have been waiting—anticipating this, I couldn’t wait another second! (Brandon is out of state and we had discussed a plan for when/if we got the call while apart.)
Ted said, We have a baby girl here. She was born March 13th at 6:20AM—on my birthday. She was 6 lbs, 5 oz. and, let’s see here, 20 in. long. So she was tall and thin.” Through joyful tears, I exclaimed that she sounded perfect and we are both tall and thin! He proceeded to tell me more information about her background and birth parents. I listened intently. Then he paused and asked, “So, do you want her?” Surprised, I exclaimed, “YES! Yes, of course, yes, we want her. Yes.”
It took me over an hour to reach Brandon. I sent the message through the leadership school’s department that he needed to call me because I had urgent news. When he called, I told him we had a baby. Then I told him we had a baby girl. As any loving Daddy would, he choked up and told someone on the other end, “It’s a baby girl!”
Meet our little Princess, Mei Li…

Waiting...and an invitation

Brandon and I moved to Florida in November of 2006. We bought a home in January 2007, and I soon found a Reproductive Endocrinologist. After more blood tests and examinations than I want to recall, my new doctor put me on a similar plan which included a more synthetic hormone therapy in the form of pharmaceuticals. For almost 2 years, I followed the plan as many prayed and I kept believing that God would help me get pregnant through the knowledge of my doctor. When I sought God through the Word he took me time and time again to Isaiah 55:8&9 "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

"Yes, God," I thought, "Your thoughts are higher, you're plan is better, I want that. Help me to be still and wait. "Wait upon the Lord," was another popular one that was just as tough to swallow. In prayer and surrender, my heart eventually came around to a place of peace as I waited to hear or see God moving. I took pregnancy test after pregnancy test only to have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart every time. Eventually, I recognized that damage taking a test caused and determined to only be tested at my frequent fertility appointments. These were routine and did not allow me to stare at a plastic stick praying I would see two lines instead of just one.

I cycled through trusting completely in God's timing and being frustrated and angry that so many others could so effortlessly become pregnant while it seemed impossible for me. Eventually, I spent more time trusting in God's timing and love than I did distrusting. Around the end of 2008 or the beginning of 2009 I had a dream. I dreamed I had gone someone near China with my former campus minister, Andy on a mission trip. (In reality, I had gone to China in 2002 with my campus minister and other college students) We had to cross a bridge into the country. Before we left, Andy warned us all that we would encounter hundreds of sick and dying people on the bridge. He firmly told us that though we may want to help them, we must refrain from coming into contact with anyone lest we become ill. Prior to entering the country on the otherside of the bridge, we would be tested. If we tested positive for the sickness, we would not be allowed to enter the country and would be stranded on the bridge. We all agreed.

The bridge was not even 20 feet wide, with the ocean hundreds of feet below it. On both sides we witnessed dying or dead people, some even threw themselves off the bridge to end their suffering. The sight was heart-wrenching. Andy and the others on my team walked several yards ahead of me as I passed a woman, her daughter, and a small boy on my right. The young woman appeared lifeless and the older woman (her mother) held up her grandchild to me. Although I could not understand her words, I knew she begged me to take the baby(around a month old). I could not refuse her plea and leave the baby to such an end. I scooped the baby up in my left arm. The little boy looked up at me through tears and I held my right hand out to him. Hesitantly, he took it and walked with me to Andy who stood dumbfounded. "If they test positive, you will have to leave them. I can't let you stay behind." he told me. "It will be okay," I responded calmly. We arrived at the testing center, the place we would depart to go home. I was tested along with the baby and little boy. We all cleared. I called Brandon and told him I would be bringing home a baby and a little boy. He responded both in gladness and gentleness saying that he would make arrangements for their arrival.

For about 3 months I did not think of the dream. Meanwhile, on facebook, (after about 3 years of no contact) my former campus minister, Andy, messaged me. He told me he had been going around to churches in the area speaking about our trip in 2002 to China and I had been on his mind. He was planning another mission trip to Taiwan in June. He asked that I prayerfully consider joining his team of students.

I was both excited and floored. With only 3-4 months to raise the funds, I thought it was irresponsible to even consider going. Besides, I was married and had just got a new job to help out with our financial situation. After about 2 weeks of prayer, God made it abundantly clear that I was to go. I assumed that meant my husband was to accompany me. He agreed to come and I began fundraising. As the trip drew nearer, I doubted my confirmations I had received from God because I had not raised much money. Then, Brandon found out that he had an inspection at work that he was in charge of. It was scheduled for the end of June--in the middle of the mission trip. Surely I was not supposed to go alone!

Within about 3 weeks of the departure date for the trip, friends, family, and neighboring churches pulled together enough money for my plane ticket. I booked it and started packing. Around this time, Andy forwarded an email to us stating that the English camp at which we would be teachers had been postponed by a week. Therefore, we would need to find somewhere else to serve near Taipei before flying to the island of Kinmen to teach. He had attached an email from a missionary to the bottom.

The email spoke of a safe house for abused children. The missionary, Linda, offered us an affordable place to stay with meals for the time we would be near Taipei. As I read the email, I began to get cold-chills and warm sensations at the same time. For reasons unknown to me, my eyes filled with tears so that I struggled to read the rest of the email. When I reached the bottom I read the closing, Linda's name, and her organization, "Bridge Builders." I called Mom and warned her not to get too excited, but explained my experience and told her I felt as though this trip was somehow connected to my dream and God giving us a child. In spite of my cautioning not to get too excited, she wept joyfully and telling me that she had been feeling the same thing.

Before it began...

    It is so evident, looking back, that God was preparing my husband(Brandon) and I(Lindsey) to be adoptive parents of a child from Asia (specifically) many years ago.  I have had the desire to adopt children as far back as I can remember. With time, that desire grew ever stronger and increasingly more specific. Seeing the path laid out from the time I was a child, I have no doubts that my Heavenly Father pre-ordained it. Leaving out many details, I will try to give you a brief summary of the events leading up to the Promise of a child for us.

Losing Hope...

   Although there were several events preparing us even before we were married, I will spare you an even longer blog. We got married in November 2004, after having agreed we would wait 2-3 years before trying to have children. A year went by, and my desire to be a mother was growing beyond what I could contain, but after discussing it, we once again decided to wait.  Another year went by, and after weeks of calling out to God about my overwhelming desire to get off the Pill, I carefully brought up the idea to Brandon. [I had been on the Pill since I was 16 years old due to some health problems.]  A co-worker, who had emotionally supported me through my discussing it with Brandon, got off the Pill around the same time. She had news about 2 months later that she was expecting! I was not.  Nine months later, she had a beautiful little girl. I had hoped I was pregnant a couple times, but to my dismay, l was not. 

  By this time, I noticed my body was feeling and acting strange, so we decided to go see and an Endocrinologist (a doctor who deals specifically with hormonal problems).  After a few appointments, my doctor informed me that the blood samples he had taken showed some imbalances and his main concern was that I my have a prolactinoma-a (usually) benign tumor that grows in the brain when prolactin (a reproductive hormone) is too high. He assured me that in most cases, there is nothing to worry about. Nevertheless, we were worried. 

   My MRI showed no tumors. Relieved, we began a treatment plan with pharmaceuticals to try and balance out my hormones. I had no idea why I was on the medicines, but I took them as prescribed. My doctor assured me that within a few months, I should be able to get pregnant.  After another nine months or so, my doctor confessed to me that he really wasn't sure what was going on with my hormones because my symptoms were "not textbook" or anything he had seen before. Fear began to grip my heart.  I knew God had placed in me the desire to be a mother. As my mother reminded me, I tried to hold onto the belief that He would not give me such a strong desire only to leave me aching for the rest of my life. My faith in His unfailing love began to waiver.

  It came time to PCS (move on US Air Force orders). Busy with moving preparations, I buried my desire and ignored the ache in my heart. Then one day, a couple of days before we moved, I asked Brandon to take me to a jewelry sale (my girlfriend went on about the lovely treasures she had found for cheap, besides, it was almost our anniversary).  I saw a dazzling white-gold ring with a lovely garnet inset, my birthstone, cut into a heart. Brandon saw the twinkle in my eye and told my to try it on. I did, and it fit. Looking it over, admiring the delicate metalwork, I noticed a cut-out inscription, "MOM" and 3 hearts. My countenance fell. It was beautiful, and I thought it was there just for me, but after seeing the word "Mom" on it, I knew it must have been my mistake. I may never be a mom and if I were, it would be many years down the road. I quickly put it down, swallowing the stabbing pain in my heart. Brandon saw what happened, but didn't understand why my demeanor changed so suddenly. "It's expensive." I said, trying to hide my true disappointment. He raised an eyebrow, he knew there was more. I showed him the inscription, "We don't know how long that will take, it's just not appropriate for me right now." I put it down and decided to find something else I liked. I quickly forced the pain deep into the recesses of my heart and found a lovely charm bracelet. 

  Days later, on our anniversary, (Brandon had already bought me the bracelet, so I expected nothing) he gave me a small box. I looked opened it to see the gorgeous garnet ring, more lovely than I remembered. With a tear in my eye, I looked at Brandon inquisitively. "I snuck back to the store. I know you aren't a mom yet, but I really believe God is going to give us a child." His loving gift paired with his gently reassuring words were a healing balm on my aching heart. I smiled and cried.  His faith gently pulled mine to it's feet and I began to pray in faith.